When Ivy League means sliding doors

Some years ago, on this day, I received incredible news. And I remember the date not just because it was March 19 – my birthday – but because it was March 19, 2020.

The day the world stopped.

That morning, as Belgium entered its first lockdown, I opened an email from Dartmouth College (yes, the Ivy League university)... I had been accepted for a position in their Department of French and Italian.

Photo Credit: Whitley Isa

For years, I had been eyeing that role, waiting until I had the right experience, the right qualifications. Until it was the right time. When I finally got in, my answer was an immediate, enthusiastic yes. I began the visa process and took on all the administrative paperwork, imagining a whole new adventure overseas.

But as the days passed, reality set in.

A one-year contract in the U.S. sounded exciting – in any other moment in history. Yet, in the spring of 2020, when job security was crumbling for so many around me, leaving an open-ended contract in Brussels felt too risky. What if I couldn’t find something fulfilling on my return? What if the career I’d worked so hard to build just faded away?

After attempting to negotiate a temporary hold on the position, I made the difficult decision to turn it down.

I’ve only found the courage to speak about this publicly now because, for a long time, that choice felt like an open wound. Not because I regretted staying in Brussels, but because it was a true sliding-doors moment. Every time I heard ‘Dartmouth’ mentioned in a movie, every time I saw pictures of New England in the fall, I felt a pang of emotion.

When we talk about careers, we focus so much on regret or rejection. But what about the times when we are the ones who say no? When we walk away from something we deeply wanted – not because we stopped wanting it, but because, at that moment, it wasn’t the right move?

Yes, having a choice is a privilege. But let’s also acknowledge that choices are hard. Age, financial stability, personal circumstances, health – these factors don’t disappear just because an opportunity is prestigious or exciting.

Making the right move for yourself doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. Some decisions will stay with you, flickering in the background of your life, making you wonder about the alternate versions of yourself that could have existed.

But what if these decisions lead to a future that fits us better than we could ever imagine?

So today – on my birthday – if I can wish you anything, it’s this: may you always have the courage to choose what feels right for you, even when it’s hard. And may every door you close quietly open another one you never expected – one that fits you perfectly, in ways you’ll only understand later.

[This article was originally published on LinkedIn].